


Reprieve

by getsuga_girl



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Bi Zack, Bottom Cloud Strife, First Time, Gay Cloud, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Oral Sex, Prostitution, Slow Burn, Switching
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2020-11-07 15:14:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20819423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/getsuga_girl/pseuds/getsuga_girl
Summary: After leaving his hometown of Nibelheim, Cloud is unable to find any work in the cutthroat city of Midgar. Forced to sell himself on the streets for gil, his life is nowhere near what he imagined it would be.Zack is a promising Soldier 1st class candidate. His recent promotion to 3rd class has pushed him one step closer to achieving his dreams.From two different walks of life, they never should have crossed paths.This is the story of what happened when they did.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Thanks for clicking on my fic. I just wanted to draw some attention to the Non-Con/Rape Tag. This implied scene takes place in the 1st chapter. Please do not continue reading if this may be triggering for you. Thanks again!

Sector 5 Slums 2:45 am. 

Five years ago, if Cloud was asked what he would be doing at seventeen, he probably would have given an answer that resembled; “on my way to becoming SOLDIER 1st class” or something along those lines. 

“Selling his body for measly amounts of gil in the Midgar slums”, was a misfortune so bizarre and unlikely that he had never entertained the possibility. And yet, here he stood, hips leaning against the dirty brick wall of an abandoned home, a cigarette hanging from his bruised lips. 

Pinching it between two fingers, he briefly pulled it away to exhale. He didn’t particularly enjoy smoking, but it served as a distraction; both from the biting night air and the ever-present hunger pangs in his abdomen. His worn cotton jacket was doing nothing to protect him from the cold, his skin covered in gooseflesh. Although, clad in a crop top, shorts and fishnets, who could expect to be warm? Cloud chuckled to himself, returning the cigarette to his mouth. Nobody wants a bundled-up whore. 

He was pulled from his reverie by the sound of tires rolling across gravel. The back window of a black pickup track slowly rolled down. “Hey! Rent boy!” a voice called out. “How much?” 

Putting the cigarette out quickly, Cloud walked to the pickup, leaned inside, and purred, “One hundred gil for a hand job. Two hundred and I’ll use my mouth. Five hundred for anal. Anything really kinky…well, that depends on what you’re asking.”

“Save it faggot. Get in before I change my mind.” the man practically spit.

Cloud rolled his eyes and reached for the handle. Typical clientele. Closeted middle-age men with a healthy side of internalized homophobia. If I only suck your cock, let you fuck me, no homo, right? These men traveled down to the underside of the plate in the late hours of the night, looking for a young piece of ass. Then they crawled back home, slipped back into bed with their wives, and pretended like nothing ever happened. He was scum to them, nothing more than a hole to stick their dicks into. 

The backseat of the pickup smelled like cheap beer and moth balls. Cloud tried not to grimace as the other man sat opposite him, a smirk-like expression on his bulbous facial features.

“Well aren’t you a pretty little thing up close.” he turned to the driver. “What do you think Trey? Could pass for a woman if he wasn’t so flat chested.” 

“Definitely.” Trey replied. “Look at that face.”

“Gentlemen,” Cloud interrupted while removing his jacket. “What can I do for you this fine Friday evening?” 

“Well… I was thinkin’ maybe those pretty lips could be wrapped around both of our cocks.” 

“I’d love that babe. Four hundred gil.” Lying to the clients was part of the territory. Of course he didn’t want to be sucking two old men’s cocks on a Friday night. (Or any night for that matter.) But people paid for enthusiasm. 

"I bet you would.” Fumbling around in his coat, the driver produced his share of the cash, depositing money in fat fingers. “Here Will.”

"Will” shoved the money at Cloud and unzipped his own fly, letting no time waste as he pulled his cock from the confines of his underwear. 

The blonde crawled over and began to work, making slow circles around the head with his thumb. He ran his tongue up the length of it once before taking all of it in his mouth. A moan escaped his lips. Just like putting on a show. 

Fingers soon knotted in his hair, causing him to pick up the pace. After a few seconds, Will’s grip became tighter as he pulled Cloud up and off his cock, spit still hanging from the blonde’s mouth. 

“I’ve changed my mind. I think I want to fuck you.”

“Sure thing. Five-hundred gil and I’m all yours.”

Will let out a low whistle. “Now see here blondie. Trey and I don’t have that much. We’ve come a long way and can’t get anymore cash. You seem to be enjoying yourself though, so maybe you and that pretty mouth can cut us a little deal.”

Cloud stiffened; Will’s hand still threaded in his hair. 

Not again. 

“Listen boys. I’m happy with our previous arrangement. I’m sorry, but I don’t do freebies… not even for handsome men like yourselves. But I promise I’ll make them worth your while.” 

“Trey what do you think?”

“Well I think this little twink is lying. His ass is begging to be fucked.” 

Cloud felt fingers slip in the waistband of his shorts. An overwhelming feeling of dread began welling up in the pit of his stomach. He was getting the fuck out of here. “Okay. I’m leaving.”

“Boy I don’t think you are.”

Motioning to leave, Cloud was ripped forward. A struggle ensued. Hands from the front seat restrained his shoulders as he attempted to free his hair from Will’s grip. His arms and legs scratching and kicking at anything he could reach.

“Fuck Will! Knock him out!” He heard before the world went black.

**********

6:11 am, Sector 5 Slums

Where was he? What happened? His head was throbbing. His body ached. Sharp objects seemed to be poking his every inch. Summoning all ounces of energy, Cloud pried opened his eyes, only to quickly close them as the garish Sector 5 slum fluorescents burned at his retinas. Squinting, he moved to set up, reaching for his discarded jacket. Unbuttoned pants and sticky thighs sent images of last night's events racing back into his mind. At least they had the decency to pull his pants back up. His fingers tentatively brushed across his eye. It was sore to the touch; no doubt black and blue from where the man had punched him just hours ago. 

Picking himself up off the gravel, he began to shuffle home. Tears threatened to burst from his eyes as every step brought with it a familiar ache. What could he do? Report it to the local Shrina branch? Like they even gave a fuck. All they cared about was exploiting the planet and expanding their military, not the actual people living in their city. Prostitution was legal here. So, who would believe him that he was raped? 

He needed to see a healer. But of course, like everything else, that would cost him. Healers were few and far between in the slums, allowing them to raise their prices as much as they wanted with little competition. Because of the poverty, condoms and other STD protection were luxuries few could afford. But, four hundred gil might be able to get him something small- half an antidote or an esuna spell. Reaching into his back pocket, Cloud felt his heart drop from his chest cavity. They took the money. 

“Fuck.” he breathed, the warmth of his voice contrasting against the chilly morning air. His stomach was practically caved in, begging for food. He briefly thought about making a stop at Tifa’s and trying to bum some of the leftover scraps from the bar. But she lived all the way in Sector 7, and the slums were still dead; no one was going to be up at this hour on a Saturday morning. 

When he finally arrived at his “apartment” (if you could even call it that), Cloud fought the urge to immediately collapse.. Instead, he managed to will himself to the bathroom to peel off his cum-sodden pants. Cleaning himself off with a rag and some cold water from the tap, he stared into the mirror and was met with a reflection he didn’t recognize. 

The man standing in front of him resembled a shell of a person. Gaunt, sunken in eyes. Sharp cheekbones. Too thin hips and apparent ribs. Green bruises on his thighs acted as a lurid complement to the purple one around his swelling eye. How did he get to this point? His life in Nibelheim seemed so far away and distant. Like a dream you can barely remember but still knew it took place. Had he really been doing this for two years now? Cloud reached for a old t-shirt on the floor, and pulled it over his head. 

Sighing, he returned to the living room and laid down, utterly defeated and broken. He would try his best to get some sleep and head back to work later that evening. 

**********

7th Heaven, Sector 7: 10:30pm

“Cloud! Shiva, what the hell happened?!” Tifa cried as soon as he walked in the door of the bar.

“Slipped and fell. No big deal. I’m fine. Trust me.” 

She knew he was lying. He could see it in her face. 

“Listen Cloud,” she drew closer to him, speaking in a hushed voice, her hand on his arm. I’m really worried about you. You stay out all hours of the night! You’re so thin. When was the last time you had something to eat? Please tell me what happened to your eye.” 

“Tifa…. Look. I’m sorry… “ he scratched his head. “A customer.. well… he got rough with me last night.” He would leave it at that. She didn’t need to know the gory details. 

Tears welled up in her eyes as she pulled him into a hug. “You know Cloud, we can always try and find you something else. I can’t stand seeing you like this. I’m afraid I’m going to wake up one day and see your body laying in the ditch outside.” 

“Tifa, you know there isn’t anything else.” 

She sniffled. “I know.” Her hands dropped to the side. You can always crash at my place if you need somewhere to stay. You know that right?” 

He shook his head. “I know. I’ll be fine though. Don’t worry too much about me.” Tifa had her own problems to worry about. She was under a lot of pressure trying to make the rent at her house, working almost every night to keep the lights on. He couldn’t take advantage of her kindness like that. 

“I came here to ask if I could borrow some of your foundation. I’m not gonna be able to pick anyone up looking like this.” He gestured to his swollen eye. 

She gave him a disapproving look before embracing the inevitable. No matter what she said, he wouldn't listen. “Fine. It’s in my purse in the back. Hold on a sec.” 

Cloud watched her disappear behind the counter. They grew up in Nibelheim together, all those years ago. When they came to Midgar, she was able to quickly get a job as a bartender working at 7th Heaven. The shop owner took one look and jumped on the opportunity to have her as the front of the house. The customers loved her too. They had attempted to find something for him for a while. He had tried his hand at various jobs all over town, but most of them were too labor intense. When he couldn’t keep up, they dropped him. After a while…. he just stopped trying. Working the streets was "easier". Still... It killed him knowing that she worried about him constantly.

TIfa quickly returned, placing the small vial in his hand. “Here. I’m not sure it will match but its all I got. Please be careful tonight Cloud. Promise me.”

“Of course I will. Promise.” he placed his hand on the door, about to leave when his stomach growled. “Actually, you got anything I can snack on real quick before I hit the road?”

“I got a leftover order of fries from my break. They’re yours if you want ‘em.” she smiled. 

“That would be amazing. Thanks, Tifa.”

**********

Those fries tasted like heaven. The best damn things he had in weeks. They weren’t much, but they were enough to hold him over til tomorrow, when hopefully he would have some gil in his pockets. Cloud grimaced. The thought of crawling into bed with another so soon after last night was nauseating. Disgusting. Revolting. But a man had to eat.

Cloud made his way to Sector 6. While not quite as shady as the slums of Sector 5, the increase in quality caused an increase in the amount of competition. Somewhat. There weren’t many queer male prostitutes in the business to begin with, but the women may manage to take some of his potential customers. 

His journey came to a halt outside the infamous Honey Bee Inn; a sleazy motel made for one-night stands. Cloud figured if you could afford a room, you were less likely to be as stingy with your money as others who couldn’t. At least he hoped. He lit a fresh cigarette and waited. The night was just getting started.


	2. Chapter 2

Shrina Headquarters, 5pm (Friday)

“Hey Zack! Wait up! What are your plans for this weekend?”

Zack turned towards the familiar voice and shrugged. Kunsel, a good friend from his previous unit and current roomate, was racing down the hallway, attempting to catch up with him. “Not sure yet. Might head home and finally visit the folks. Tell them the good news. What about you?”

“Me and the rest of the guys were thinking about heading under the plate. Y’know, get some drinks, celebrate. We made it man! Who would have thought we’d ever get out of the infantry corps?”

“I know. It doesn’t seem real.” Zack shook his head and laughed. “I still have nightmares about being woken up in the middle of the night to do drills.” 

After a year in hell--aka the infantry corps; Zack and a few others had finally been promoted to SOLDIER. With the promotion, they were now allowed to have every other weekend off. He would have been lying to himself if he wasn’t excited by the prospect of finally getting off base. But Zack had always imagined his first weekend of leave somewhere sunny. Midgar was anything but. He was tired of the depressing weather in this city. The chilly fall air acted as an unwelcome reminder that colder days were right around the corner. 

“Why the hell do you want to go under the plate?” 

“Zack. Man, I’m dying. So are the rest of us in this stupid army. I need a vacation. I’ve forgotten what booze tastes like. I’ve forgotten what a woman looks like naked. I eat, sleep, and breathe sword drills.”

“You really think you’re going to be able to pick someone up?” Zack was amused. He couldn’t quite picture Kunsel putting "the moves" on anyone. 

Kunsel laughed. “Don’t look too surprised. But in all honestly, I wouldn’t really have to. Everything has a price down there.”

Wait. Paying for sex? Zack was sexually frustrated, sure. What man in the military wasn’t? Forced proximity at all times. Zero privacy. Jacking off in the shower had only so much appeal when another was standing two feet away. 

“Ehhh. To each his own. But I don’t think that’s my thing.”

“Aw, come on. At least come out for celebratory drinks. You know if you don’t come and carry the conversation it will be boring as hell.” 

Zack found himself nodding, albeit reluctantly. “Okay. I’ll see you Saturday night.”

**********

Bar in Sector 6, 11:00 pm, Saturday

“And then... this fucking idiot RUNS out of the Sergeant’s office with this giant shit eating grin on his face. Turns out this motherfucker rearranged Zabe’s office. Yup. The entire office. You could feel the annoyance emanating from him for days.”

“Hey come on now. I can’t take all the credit. I never would have thought of it if it wasn’t for Ash.” Zack protested, elbowing his friend. “Plus, you know I was only able to get the keys cuz I swiped ‘em from Angeal.”

Zack took a swig of his beer. It wasn’t very good, but it was cheap, and it went down fairly easy. He glanced at the label. “Imported from Wutai.” The war had ended only months ago. But hey, at least they got booze out of the whole ordeal. 

Feeling grateful to Kunsel for dragging him out, he glanced around the table. Twenty or so new 3rds had all come. He knew most of them; Kunsel, Ash, Dan, Jake, Adam, Luxiere and a few other familiar faces. For the past two years, Shinra had consumed their every waking moment. Not that he had minded, but the change of scenery was welcome. Zack yelled over the loud music of the bar, rejoining the conversation. “Guys, listen. None of this better make it back to Zabe. You know he’s still pissed about it.” 

Adam took the opportunity to get a word in. “Aw, Zack, you know he secretly loves being fucked with. If he didn’t, your ass would have been gone months ago.” 

Kunsel laughed. “He’s right. If it wasn’t for Angeal, you would have been kicked out of the infantry a long time ago.”

“Yeah right. What does Angeal have to do with it?” 

“Are you kidding me, Zack? Do you really think Zabe doesn’t know you were the one who was in his office? Guaranteed he blew the whole thing over for you.

“Yeah, be thankful for all that ass kissing!” Dan yelled out. 

Zack pouted, feigning offense. 

Kunsel continued. “Seriously though. Zack you were always in some kind of trouble.”

“Hey, remember that one time you put that hair removal potion in the kid’s shampoo bottle? What was his name? Tristan or something?” Jake asked.

Zack nodded. “I remember it. He went bat-shit crazy and threatened to murder the entire unit. It was sooooo worth the extra five miles at drills the next morning.”

Ash finished his third beer, pushing it forward to join the other empty bottles at the head of the table. “And Sgt. Zabe hated him so much he didn’t even give a shit. He let you off super easy.” 

Jake nodded in agreement. “He deserved it though. He was always talking so much shit but could never back any of it up.” 

“Does anyone know what ever happened to that guy?” Kunsel asked. 

Zack shrugged. “I don’t know. He didn’t take the SOLDIER exam with the rest of us.”

“Who cares?” Ash waved his arm, trying to flag down the waitress. “Let’s get shots!”

After a few seconds of obnoxious arm-waving, the waitress finally took notice. “What can I get you boys?”

“Whatever you got that’s strong.” 

“Sure thing.” she smiled. “I’ll be right back.” 

Moments later, she reappeared, carrying a tray of crimson-colored shots. “This one’s called the Phoenix. Take the match and light the liquor on fire. Wait about three seconds, blow it out and throw it back.” She winked. “S’pose to bring you back from the dead.”

Zack carefully lit the match. When the fire first touched the alcohol, flames shot around the rim of the shot glass, producing an ethereal orange-yellow glow. Burning shot in hand, Zack stood up. “Let’s do a toast! We survived the hell that is the infantry corps. We made it to SOLDIER baby! So, a toast to us! And to Shrina for getting us here! Here’s to the first weekend of leave and to every weekend after!”

Cheers of agreement erupted from the table.  


**********

“Where you wanna head next?” Dan called out. There’s still a lot to see in Wall Market, even at this hour.” 

Zack shrugged. “It’s up to all of you. I’m probably gonna head wherever Kunsel and Ash wanna go. They said something earlier about another bar over in the next sector.”

Dan laughed. “Not me. If I don’t stop now, I’ll have one hell of a hangover tomorrow. No need to push my luck any further.”

“You’re smarter than me dude.” Zack took another sip of his beer. “See ya later then.”

**********

The Honeybee Inn was infamous. Even Zack, who had never been under the plate had at least heard of it. So, when the group unexpectedly rolled up to the entrance, he felt a spark of irritation course through his body. 

“Are you serious Kunsel? I thought you said we were going to hit that other bar. What was it…7th Heaven? Over in the next sector? I told you I wasn’t interested in this stuff.” 

Dammit. He should have known he would end up here before the night was over. Zack gave the place a once-over, trying to shake the queasy feeling building in his guts. It stuck out like a sore thumb amidst the drab backdrop of the surrounding town. Giant billboards featuring women dressed in “bee” costumes were accompanied by crude phrases: “XXX.” “Check out our selection here at the hive!” and “No-strings-attached fun!” 

“Lighten up. It’s not a big deal. Everyone does it.” Ash chimed in.

A look of annoyance briefly crossed his features. Zack was confident everyone did not do this. But, before he could protest, their conversation was cut short by the appearance of two women. Two very gorgeous women. 

“Hey fellas,” the first said. She had deep red hair, her fair skin untouched by the sun. Large breasts threatened to spill from her too-small top. “What brings you down beneath the plate at this hour?” 

“Yeah.” her friend agreed. “S’ not too often we get brave soldiers from the army down here to visit us.” 

The former posed a question; “So, what do you think gentlemen? Us two.. you three. We’ll cut you a special group deal.” 

They were beautiful. There was no denying that. But paying for sex…… it just didn’t feel right. There wasn’t anything honorable about it. Zack loved his comrades, but no amount of brotherly love could constitute him losing his virginity in a fivesome in this sleazy motel. Averting his eyes, he glanced in the opposite direction, desperately trying to think of a way to get himself out of this situation. 

He sighed. It’s not as if he was saving himself or anything. The opportunity had just never presented itself. He grew up in a small town, graduated and immediately left for the military. Back in Gongaga there was a girl. They had messed around a few times, but nothing had ever come of it. 

His eyes settled on a slim figure across the street. Blonde hair that defied the laws of gravity. Full lips closed around a cigarette. Androgynous facial features with a distinctly masculine body. 

He knew he was staring, but in that moment, he couldn’t bring himself to look away. The blonde turned his head, ice blue eyes meeting mako-infused ones. Fuckfuckfuck. Zack blushed; all the Wutaiian alcohol hitting him at once. Shiva, he was drunk. 

He had always known he was attracted to men. But, despite popular belief, being surrounded by hundreds of men in basic training was not the sex-fest people thought it was. Recruits were worked from sunup to sundown. Everyone was physically and mentally exhausted. Zack didn’t have enough free time to sleep, let alone explore potential relationships with others in his unit. Shinra was not exactly a supporter of gay rights either. The military had adopted a “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. While not explicitly banned or prohibited, it just wasn’t happening in the public eye. 

Maybe he could just go talk to him, kill some time while the others fucked around over here. 

“Ladies can you give us a sec while we talk to our friend.” Kunsel and Ash yanked him away, both from his previous location and his train of thought.

“Zack what the hell are you doing? You’re zoning out.”

“Hellooooo. Gaia to Zack.” Kunsel waved a hand in front of his face.

Ash craned his neck, trying to see what could possibly be better than getting laid. “What are you doing? You have two beautiful women begging to sleep with us. And…. you’re staring at that…… wait, is that a guy? Ash moved in front of his face, obscuring his view. You do know he’s a guy, right? Kunsel, I think he’s had a bit too much to drink.” 

Kunsel shook his head. “Zack I’m pretty sure that guy is y’know, a rent-boy or something. Look how he is dressed.”

That guy was a prostitute? Sure, his look was... unique, but what did that matter? “You think so? I was just gonna go say hi.” 

Ash gave him a weird look.” I didn’t know you were into that.”

The condescending tone of his comrade was just enough motivation for him to get the hell out of there. “Aw fuck off Ash. I’m just gonna go talk to him. Not suck his dick. You guys have fun. I’ll catch up with you later.”


	3. Chapter 3

Cloud could feel the soldier’s eyes raking up and down his body. He smirked, making a point to maintain eye contact as long as possible. It wasn’t often that he saw employees from Shinra wandering around like this. Most of the time they were stationed at their base. Much to his distain, he reluctantly acknowledged that the soldier in question was actually quite attractive. He had shaggy raven hair that looked like it hadn’t been properly brushed in years, yet it suited him well. He was tall and filled out his uniform nicely. Even from across the street, Cloud could see the telltale glow of mako infusion present in the man’s eyes. 

He took another drag off his cigarette. It had been a long time since he had been with someone so attractive. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Eye contact was broken as the man’s friends began arguing with him. Clearly, they were upset he wasn’t paying attention to the two women. He could tell they were talking about him, the two friends projecting something akin to horror as they glanced over. Newsflash. Your boy’s not straight. 

“I didn’t know you were into that.” 

Nope. After last night, Cloud was certain he had experienced enough homophobia to last a lifetime. He tossed the still-lit cigarette on the ground, turning to leave. He was not putting up with this shit again. 

He had barely taken five steps when he heard the soldier calling out to him. 

“Hey! Wait!” A mass of black hair was sprinting across the street. Cloud was torn. He desperately needed the money, and the man was easy on the eyes. But at the same time, all he wanted to do was curl up in a ball and sleep for ten years. His mental health was hanging by a thread. Maybe the guy just wanted his dick sucked. He could handle that. 

He raised an eyebrow. “Thought your buddies were gonna drag you away.”

The man looked mortified. “Did you hear them? I’m so sorry. They’re being major assholes today. They told me we were going to another bar and took me here instead.” he shook his head. “But enough about them. They’re idiots. What’s your name? I saw you standing over here and wanted to come say hello.”

His name? Cloud hesitated. Giving out his name to a potential client AND a Shrina employee? That had stupid written all over it. But, the guy seemed genuinely sorry and embarrassed by his friends. He looked relatively harmless. “Cloud.”

“Cloud? Neat. That’s really unique. Nice to meet you. I’m Zack.” 

“So, Zack, did you want to get a room?” he gestured in the direction of the Honey Bee Inn.

“What? Wait, no! I’m sorry, that didn’t come out right. I mean, not that I wouldn’t. You’re very attractive. What I mean is that I’m not really into that. Paying for sex that is. Not men. Definitely into men. I’m so sorry. I’m a little drunk. “

Cloud felt the corners of his mouth beginning to turn upwards. The fact that he was working for the Shinra was irksome, but this guy was definitely harmless. It was kind of endearing how worked up he was getting. 

Zack looked over his shoulder to find that his friends had left him behind. “Do you care if I hang out with you for a bit?

Cloud shrugged, trying to feign indifference. The company could be nice, but what was Zack trying to accomplish here? If he wasn’t interested in paying for sex, then what was he hoping to achieve? “Sure, until I get any other customers.”

Cloud watched as the other man gradually sank to the ground beside him. “So, do you do this all the time?”

He motioned to sit down as well. “What? Whore myself out on the streets?”

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

Cloud laughed. “I know.”

“Do you like it?”

It’s ruining my life. “Yeah, it’s great.”

“Well, kudos to you. I don’t know if I be able to do it.”

“Too good for this?”

Zack looked pained. “I’m quickly ruining this aren’t I?"

“Nah, you’re fine. My sarcasm goes over a lot of people’s heads.”

Apparent relief appeared on the other man’s face. “Can you tell I don’t get out much?” 

“Well your uniform isn’t helping you blend in. We rarely see anyone from Shinra on this side of the plate.”

“Oh yeah? This is actually the first time I’ve been here. When you’re a part of the infantry you don’t get any free time off base until you get promoted.”

Cloud frowned. That was weird. Why was Shinra holding their recruits captive? Probably because they didn’t want them seeing how decrepit the city really was. “Well, what do you think?”

Zack ran his fingers through his hair. “Honestly, it’s a little unsettling. I didn’t realize what it was like down here. I’m from Gongaga, which is a little village on the other side of the mountains. The city life is very different.”

“Culture shock huh?”

“Yeah, you could say that.” 

“I’m from a small mountain town too. Nibelheim. Ever heard of it?”

Zack shook his head. “Nope. What’s there?” 

Not much, thanks to the Shinra. “An old reactor. Nothing else really.”

“Gongaga is the same way. That’s why I left. I felt so trapped, like I wasn’t doing anything to better myself or to help anyone. I decided to join the army so I could make SOLDIER and finally do something. I know it sounds lame, but I grew up watching Sephiroth and wanted to be a hero just like him.” Zack stared at the ground, silent for a moment. “Ugh. I don’t know why I blurted all that out. The alcohol’s making me more talkative then usual. “

Zack was so naïve and hopeful. Cloud didn’t have the heart to tell him what he really thought about Shinra and the SOLDIER program. He kicked at the gravel with his boot. Midgar had turned him cynical. But then again, who was he to doubt the success of another’s dreams? Just because his own didn’t work out, didn’t mean everyone’s were doomed. Looking at Zack, he smiled. “I’m sure you’ll get there. You seem very determined.”

Zack returned the smile. “Thanks man. So, what do you do for fun around here?”

“You’re looking at it. No one down here really has enough money to do anything for fun. Why do you think I do this?”

“I thought you said you liked it?”

Cloud could see the concern building in the other man’s eyes as he shrugged. “I say a lot of things.” 

Zack looked like he was about to say something, when the two were interrupted by the sound of a car horn. 

“Hey blondie! How much?” As he rattled off his prices, Cloud tried to hide his disgust, both from the customer and Zack. Though the guy was a bit nosey, he kinda liked him. Sitting here, talking to someone; it had given him a few moments of reprieve. Standing up, he gave his best over-the shoulder wave. “Well, see you later. Duty calls.” 

Cloud made his way towards the beat-up sedan, praying to whatever gods would listen that this would be over quickly. 

“Cloud wait! I’ll pay you double.”

Cloud stopped in his tracks, turning around to find a frantic Zack. The other man looked ready to die of embarrassment, all blush and dilated pupils. “You’ll pay me double?”

“Yeah, here.” Zack scrambled, trying to pull the gil out of his pockets. He thrust the money into Cloud, an attempt to rid himself of it as quickly as possible. 

He turned to the owner of the sedan. “You heard him. Sorry babe. Stop by tomorrow.” Muttering a string of curses, the other man tramped on the gas pedal and drove off. 

Cloud raised an eyebrow. “Thought you didn’t pay for sex?”

“I don’t. I may have panicked a little.”

“You……..panicked? So, let me get this straight. You don’t actually want to fuck me.” 

“Well, I mean…. no.”

“Are you fucking serious? You just caused me to lose a potential customer for nothing.” Cloud motioned to return the gil. “Here. I’ve had enough. I’m going home.”

Zack shook his head. “No, you keep it. I just wanted you to stay here and hang out with me. I don’t know my way around here. Gods know if Ash and Kunsel are ever coming back.“

Cloud was confused. Did this guy really give him one thousand gil with no ulterior motive? Not that he was complaining, but the whole situation was so bizarre that he couldn’t wrap his head around it. He was used to being treated like trash. The idea of someone paying to “hang out with him” was just weird. “Yeah, they probably aren’t coming back. Look, are you sure you don’t want your money back? I’m really not that interesting.” 

“I’m sure. It’s yours. So uhh.. you wanna get some more drinks or food or something? Before my friends left they said something about some bar called 7th Heaven? It’s over in the next sector. I didn’t know if you knew the place or not.”

Nope. Nope. Nope. Tifa would kill him if he brought someone from SOLDIER into her bar. After their interaction earlier today, avoiding awkward convos with his friends was high on his priority list. “No. Not there. I’ll go anywhere else though.”

“Okay sure! Are there any twenty-four-hour food places around here? What’s your favorite? Don’t worry about spending your money. I’ll pay for you.” 

Food. He was getting food. “There’s a place right up the street. They have burgers and stuff. Are you sure you want to be seen with me in public? I’m not exactly dressed…. modestly.” He gestured to his bare abdomen. 

“Who cares what other people think? Anyone says anything….” Zack paused, taking the time to jump into a fake battle stance. “I’ll kick their ass.” 

Cloud snorted. “Has anyone told you that you might be a bit of a dork?”

“Only everyone I’ve ever met.”

***********

Cloud sank his teeth into his burger, exercising every ounce of willpower he had to not inhale the whole thing in the next ten seconds. Fuck, it tasted amazing. He was going to leave Midgar and elope with this sandwich. 

His dreams of domestic life were shattered by Zack’s voice. “Y’know, you should charge more. Five hundred gil for sex isn’t enough.”

Cloud shrugged. “I do what I can. People around here don’t have enough money to pay more than that.”

“What about you? Do you have enough?”

Not wanting to meet the other’s eyes, Cloud feigned preoccupation with the ketchup bottle. Huh, only three grams of added sugar. “I get by.” 

“Are you okay though? It’s getting really cold out.” 

“Well I don’t see how it’s any of your business.” 

“Sorry. Sometimes I just say things that come to mind without really thinking about them, you know? I think I’m gonna get a beer. You want one?”

“Sure.”

“Gotta keep the buzz going. Be right back”

Cloud glanced out the window, taking in the miserable view of Wall Market. What was he doing here? Sitting in this diner wearing next to nothing, pretending like he was having a beer with a friend. He shouldn’t be here. Zack didn’t even know him, and yet he was obnoxiously acting like he cared about his well-being. He knew better than anyone that Shinra didn’t care about anything, least of all people like him. 

Maybe his buddies had dared him to go fuck with the prostitute. The whole display outside the Honey Bee an elaborate act, they would pull him into an alley and beat him half to death once he let his guard down.

Zack placed a drink down in front of him. “You okay space cadet?”

“Yeah I’m fine.” Putting the cold bottle to his lips, he grimaced as the first drops of alcohol hit his taste buds. “Ugh. This sucks.”

“Aw, it’s not so bad. It does the job at least.”

************

One and a half gross beers later, Cloud was beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol. He found himself unable to hold back a smile as Zack rambled on and on and on about anything and everything. He talked about his parents and all the trouble he got into at basic training. He talked about his friends, Kunsel and Ash, and how they actually were good people, despite their first impression. He talked about his dreams of becoming a hero and doing good in this shitty world. Cloud was mesmerized. He didn’t think he had met anyone that was half this sincere in his whole life. 

“Oh shit. It’s almost three. Do you think Kunsel and Ash are done yet?”

He shrugged for what seemed liked the umpteenth time that night. “Honestly, who knows? Depending on how much money they spent, they could potentially be there all night.”

“Well how far is the train that runs up to the top of the plate?”

“From here? Maybe like thirty to forty minutes of walking. If you get lucky, you might be able to find a taxi to take you there.”

Zack looked totally defeated by the prospect. “I’m wayyyyy too inebriated to try that shit. But Cloud, after this weekend is over, can we hang out again?”

“So, you want to hang out with a prostitute again, without the sex?”

“Yeah, why not? I like you a lot. You’re really funny and sarcastic. I want to get to know you better. I told you I’m not interested in that other stuff.”

Was this even real? Cloud tried to stifle the blush that was fast forming on his cheeks. Shinra affiliation aside, Zack was hot. Almond shaped eyes illuminated by mako, thick eyelashes and dark, unruly eyebrows complimented his strong nose and cheekbones. His sleeveless uniform was doing nothing to conceal his muscular physique. He wondered just how many hours Zack had spent in the gym to achieve it. Did he push himself to the brink of collapse, then drag himself to the shower, exhausted, covered in sweat, and slowly-

“Here, you have had something orange-ish under your eye all night. S’ been bugging me.”

Zack reached over the table. Cloud felt his breath hitch as long fingers brushed his cheek to cup his face. Lost in green-blue eyes, he barely took notice as a thumb began to lightly graze under his eye. Cloud melted at the initial touch but winced as the pressure soon found his injury. He jerked his head back in an attempt to prevent Zack from realizing what happened, but he was too late. 

Cloud watched as the other man looked on in confusion, first at Tifa’s foundation residue on his thumb, and then in horror at his face, which was no doubt sporting a semi-visible, purple bruise. 

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you pity me.”

Zack’s expression softened as he continued to stare. “Cloud, what happened?”

“Nothing. Slipped and fell.” He really needed to come up with better excuses.

“I don’t buy that for a second. Seriously, what happened?”

Well I was sucking off these two men, when they decided that wasn’t enough. They punched me in the face, fucked me while I was unconscious, robbed me, and threw my body out of the truck onto the side of the road. Is that what you wanted to hear? And to top it all off, I’m out here tonight, trying to do it all over again because I have no gil and my apartment has no heat and I’m starving to death.

“None of your business.” 

“Did somebody hit you?”

Cloud stood up. “I’m leaving.” The spell was broken, he was sober again. Anger and rage bubbled up from the depths of his stomach, emotions he hadn’t let himself properly feel since the incident. “Don’t try and pretend like you or Shinra or anyone else actually gives a single fuck. I don’t need your pity.” 

“Cloud wait!” Zack threw enough gil to cover the tab on the table and followed him outside. “Tell me. What the hell happened?” 

“Shiva Zack! Do you just want to hear me say it out loud?! Like you don’t already fucking know? Some assholes weren’t happy with my “services” and punched me in the fucking face. Now please leave me alone. I’m not going to have sex with you for free if you try long enough, or wait around for you on the weekends, or participate in whatever weird scheme you have concocted to fuck with me.” 

Zack was completely undeterred by his sudden outburst. “Did they do anything else to you? Are you hurt anywhere else?”

Cloud just stared at the ground, his anger dissipating as quickly as it had materialized. Why wouldn’t this guy just leave him alone? When he finally spoke, his voice was strained. “Zack, please. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Holy fuck,” Zack breathed, his voice laced with understanding.

The other man grabbed him by the shoulders. “Cloud. Look at me. Do you need to see a healer or anything? With the money I gave you, you should be able to afford one. I’ll help you look if you want. I can take you to the infirmary in Shrina tomorrow?”

He shook his head. “I don’t want to go to Shinra. They wouldn’t let me in anyway. “

“They would. I’m in SOLDIER now. I have a lot more privileges.” 

“Why are you being so nice to me? You don’t even know me.” 

“Why do you have to know someone to be kind? Please. Come to Shinra tomorrow. No one will even be there on the weekend. Look, let’s get a hotel or something and head over in the morning.” 

Cloud continued staring at the ground. He really should see a healer. But go to Shinra headquarters? Shinra who ruined his life and was partly responsible for this whole mess? Not to mention go with Zack, a man he barely knew? 

He let out a long sigh. “If I go with you, it’s in and out.” Zack met his eyes and nodded. 

He did more with people he knew less.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry this took so long. I originally wanted to squeeze the whole Shinra trip into one chapter. It ended up being way longer that expected so I decided to cut up! Sorry this one is so short. Expect another chapter soon.

Zack was either going to vomit or commit a felony. At this point, he wasn’t quite sure which. Admittedly, both options were looking far better than the current reality, where rapists could roam free and half-digested food churned relentlessly in his guts. 

How could something like this happen? Where were the Shinra troops? 

He fumbled absentmindedly with a loose thread on the side of his sweater. When it happened… was Cloud scared? Did he call out for help? Was he drugged? He shook his head violently, as if he could physically remove the upsetting images from his mind. 

Zack was worried. He knew it was none of his business, but something inside of him couldn’t let this go. He didn’t care if he came across as nosy or overbearing or psychotic. He saw the look on Cloud’s face when that scumbag in the sedan pulled up earlier. He was going to be sick. And then later, in the diner. The lust that shone in his eyes when the waitress brought out that burger. It was almost as if he hadn’t eaten anything proper in weeks. Cloud was as skinny as a rail, all sharp angles and hard edges. If he could just get him to headquarters…. maybe he could do something for him. 

Blonde spikes bobbed up and down in his peripheral vision, a sign that the other man was still following, albeit reluctantly. 

“Does your hair always stick up like that? Or is some kind of special hair gel? Zack was equal parts curious and anxious. Genuinely curious about hair-physics. Anxious to rid himself of his previous train of thought.

Cloud sported a look of mild annoyance. “Nope. It’s all natural. Why do you ask? Got something funny to say about it?”

Zack laughed. “No ya weirdo. I like it. My hair isn’t exactly what you’d call “tame” either. When it’s short like this, I can’t do anything to get it to lay flat. Better believe when I make 1st class, I’m growing it out.”

“You’re gonna grow your hair out?”

“Yeah, why not? It will be badass, just like the general.” 

“Always a delicate balance between badass and grease-ball when a dude has long hair. Take me for example. I had a ponytail for a few years as a kid. Total grease-ball.”

“No way. You didn’t?” He couldn’t quite picture a small Cloud wrestling those spikes into a hair band. 

Cloud shrugged. “I was a weird kid.” 

“Aww. I’m sure all the ladies loved it.”

“Haha. Good one. More like it helped to keep them away. Good thing I had no interest in that department.” 

“You knew that young?”

“That I was gay?” Cloud had a quizzical look on his face.

“Yeah, I guess.” He was interested. Cloud seemed so unapologetic regarding his sexuality. In fact, it seemed to be the only thing he was open about. His trepidation was seemingly with the social stigma associated with being a prostitute, not his identity as a gay man. 

“I mean, yeah. Pretty much.” He shoved in his hands in the pockets of his ratty jacket. “I can remember wanting to be “boyfriends” with other kids at my school when I was little. I’m taking you didn’t?”

“I realized it in high-school. I always liked girls, so I didn’t think much about it.” It wasn’t a lie. Tenth grade. Gym class. He realized his eyes were starting to linger in places a straight guy’s shouldn’t.

“Gross. Do your buddies know?” 

He laughed. “Well, I’m sure they probably have an idea now.”

“How do you feel about that?”

Cloud’s voice had an underlying tension to it. Like the guy was just waiting for him to say he was ashamed or embarrassed that his comrades knew he was into dudes. “Kind of relieved. They’re my friends. I wish I would have said something sooner but…I guess I was afraid. And being in the army… there really wasn’t a good time to bring it up.”

“Yeah. I get that.” Tension gone.

“I’m not embarrassed to be seen with you, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

Cloud didn’t respond, just continued his lazy shuffle, kicking at various rocks and debris, as if they were personally responsible for his foul mood. 

“Hey, is that the place?”

Cloud raised his head to confirm. “Yeah, that’s it.” 

******

The hotel was a welcome change from the Honeybee Inn. The inside was almost homey- if anything under the plate could qualify, that is. Dated wallpaper and dark-stained wood lined the walls. The furniture in the lobby was a mixture of different patterns, no two items from the same set.

Zack walked up the front desk, where an old man sat, head buried in a newspaper. “TENSIONS RISE AS WUTAI REFUSES TO COOPERATE WITH SHINRA DEMANDS”, the headline read. What? The war ended…. three months ago. Exhausted, he pushed the thoughts from his mind. Right now, a pillow was seductively calling his name. “Sorry, I know it’s late, but can we get a room please?”

Peering over the edge of his newspaper, the man glanced from Zack to Cloud, and back again. 

“Sir, with all due respect, this is not that type of establishment.”

“What?” He turned to see that Cloud had retreated to the corner of the room. “That’s not- what this is. Look, we just need a room for a few hours. We’re beat.”

“I’m sorry. You’re going to have to go somewhere else.”

“What? No!” 

“Zack…. let’s just go.” Cloud was hovering near the door, his fingers twitching with anticipation as he longed to turn the doorknob and leave. 

“No. Listen.” He spoke calmly, but firmly. “You’re going to give us a room. If you don’t, I’m going to report this establishment to Shinra when I get back tomorrow morning. Failure to house a Soldier during the line of duty? I’d hate to see the citation for that.”

The old man rolled his eyes, tossing him the key. “Whatever. Get on with your “duty”. Sit the sheets outside after you’re done.” 

“Holy hades. Come on Cloud.”

Zack turned the corner and headed for the stairs. Room 208. At least they wouldn’t be on the same floor as that ass. “Is everyone a fucking piece of shit in this city?” 

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

“That guy was a douche. He deserved it. Besides, I gotta lay down. I’m so tired I can barely keep my eyes open. I wasn’t going to make it to another hotel if we left.” 

He turned the key.

Of-fucking-course.

Only one bed. 

He had been so pissed he forgot to ask for doubles. Like Cloud needed any more ideas that he was trying to get into his pants. He definitely thought he was a giant creep already, abducting him and dragging him to headquarters.

“Cloud, you take the bed. I’m used to sleeping on the bricks in the barracks, so I’ll be fine on the floor.” 

“You sure? I mean, we can share.”

“Nah that’s okay. I’m a total bed hog. You’d either wake up on the floor or die from suffocation. Just toss me one of those pillows and I should be fine.” 

“I can take the floor.”

He smiled. “Nope. Sorry. Floor’s taken.” 

Cloud grabbed the plaid comforter from the base of the bed. “Well at least take the quilt.”

Zack reached out and took the blanket, spreading it on the moss-green carpet.

“Thanks man. Can you hit the lights?”

“Uh, sure.” Darkness filled the room. He could hear Cloud fumbling with the sheets. 

“Night. See ya in the morning.” 

“Night.”

Zack lay away, fighting the intense desire to shut his eyes. Would Cloud try to leave? Slip out after he fell asleep? 

Despite his efforts, it wasn't long before sleep overtook him. His final thoughts were of blonde hair and blue eyes.  
******  
Rays of artificial sunlight shone through the windows. Nonexistent birds chirped. Zack yawned and stretched, pulling at his tense muscles. The floor had surprisingly done minimal damage to his spine. 

He turned, glancing at the antique clock hanging on the wall. Ten-o-seven. If nothing else, they’d managed six hours of sleep. 

That’s right! They! 

Zack jumped up off the floor, expecting to see crumpled sheets and an absent bed. Instead, he was met with a still-asleep Cloud, curled in on himself, tangled in a mess of blankets. His lips were parted ever so slightly, just enough for a small string of drool to escape onto the pillow. He was sporting bedhead like no other, his blonde spikes akin to a chocobo’s feathers after a race. The foundation on his eye had mostly worn off, revealing a nasty, greenish bruise. Zack hated to wake him. He looked so… peaceful. His problems far away and out of reach. 

“Hey, sleepyhead.” Zack leaned forward, giving Cloud and pillows a gentle push.

“Mmmm.” 

“Cloud. You gotta get up. We have to check out soon.” He flicked on the lights. 

Another groan.

Zack felt his cheeks flush. 

Fuck. Those sounds. How many others had been privileged enough to hear them? 

He quickly shoved him, eager to stop the both the illicit sounds and the lewd pictures his mind was starting to conjure up. “Cloud, come on.” 

Mumbling a string of curses, Cloud pried open his eyes. “S’What time is it? His voice was still heavy with sleep, raspy from the cigarettes and lack of water. 

“A little after ten. Come on. We gotta get going. Everyone will be at headquarters by the evening, so we have to head back now.” 

Sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, Cloud looked miserable. Filled with immediate shame, Zack couldn’t believe himself. The man had just been through a severe trauma. And here he was, sexualizing his unconscious body. 

“So, what’s your plan?” 

“For these sheets? I was thinkin about just flinging them out the window or something. Maybe soaking them in toilet water. I don’t know.”

“Zack. No. Forget that guy. I’m talking about the plan to get into Shinra.”

“Plan? There’s no plan. We’re just going in through the front door.”

“I can’t go in through the front door.”

“Why? You commit a national crime or something?”

“No, but Zack, seriously, look at me. I stand out in the middle of the night. I can’t go out like this in the daylight.” 

There was that apprehension again. “I promise, you’ll be fine. I’m a Soldier. No one is going to fuck with you.”

“You really think that’s the end-all-be-all, huh? Move out of the way…I’m in SOLDIER. Give us a room or else…I’m in SOLDIER. Lube up and bend over. I’m in SOLDIERRRRRR.”

“Man, Cloud. I’m just trying to help. We can’t do anything about your clothes sitting in this hotel room. I have some stuff you can use. But in order to get to it…. you guessed it. We have to leave this hotel room! Or hey, maybe you wanna take your chances with the manager once you stay here past checkout.” 

“Fine. Since I clearly have no other choice.” 

*********

Zack had tried to initiate conversation on the way to the station. He tried again on the train itself. Cloud was not amused. This led to the entire ride being categorized by an awkward silence.

What was he doing? Clearly, Cloud did not want to be here. He obviously had…. “issues” with Shinra- something that was glaringly obvious, yet seemingly taboo to speak of. 

And so, when they rolled up to the entrance, he was ready for the barrage of smart-ass comments that were about to be unleashed. 

Instead, he was met with a Cloud that was clearly preoccupied, eyes darting around as if he expected someone to leap out of the shadows and stab him to death. 

“Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah. Sorry. I’m just not feeling the best.”

He smiled. “Well, that’s why we’re here, aren’t we?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay Shinra Adventure! This is the longest chapter I've written so far, so hopefully it makes up for last week. Again, thank you to everyone who has been leaving comments. I read each and every one of them!

The Shinra lobby was exactly how Cloud remembered it… cold and uninviting. Two years had passed since he had first stepped foot in the building, and until yesterday, he had assumed it would have been his last. 

He had sworn to himself that after what happened, he would never come back here. 

But desperate times call for desperate measures. Or, so they say. 

Zack had fed him, gave him money, and offered to help him get free medical care, all for nothing in return. So, in spite of his hatred for this place, he would have been an idiot to not accept his help. Still, he couldn’t shake the feeling that this was not going to work out the way Zack had planned. 

“C’mon, this way. We have to check in.”

Check in? Oh fuck no. 

“Hey Cheryl.” Zack waved as he called out to the receptionist. She was a woman in her fifties who seemed dead set on denying that fact. Bright red lipstick on thin lips. Dyed platinum blonde hair. A nose that was the result of multiple failed surgeries. 

He shifted, partially shielding himself from her view as he moved behind Zack. 

“Oh, Zackary! You need to come down and visit me more often. I miss that smile.” Cloud cringed. Add “flirts with men half her age” to that list. 

“Aw, you flatter me too much. I brought a friend, he’s going to be here for a few hours with me, then he’s gonna head out.”

She peered over her glasses. Her reaction to his appearance was hard to read due to her Botox-immobilized facial features. 

“Sure Zackary, that’s fine. Just be sure to have him check out on the way home. I’ll have to fill out a visitor form, so just wait there, it will only take a second.” She ruffled through a stack of papers before pulling out the correct one. “Here it is. Name?” 

“Cloud.” Zack answered immediately, not giving him a chance to lie. The other man turned, waiting for him to continue.

That’s right. He didn’t know his last name.

“Uh. Wallace.” Thankfully, Barrett wasn’t here to witness this debacle. 

“Age? Date of Birth?”

“Seventeen. August 11th.” Not lies. 

“Do you have identification on you?”

“I…uh... don’t have any. I’m from under the plate.”

After shooting Zack a suspicious look, she continued, “Well, that’s okay. We’ll just take your picture.” 

“Oh Shiva no. Is that really necessary? I mean, you know what I look like.”

“Security protocol dear.” 

He didn’t even try to smile. 

******

“I’m killing you. Then, I’m killing myself.” 

His anger was only being elevated by Zack’s unsolicited snickering. 

“Cloud, you gotta admit, that picture is kinda funny. I’m gonna ask for a print-out for my wall. You look like a kid who just got grounded or something.” 

“Yeah. It’s real funny. Shinra now has a picture of the local slum whore. Black eye edition.” 

Zack frowned. “You shouldn’t talk about yourself like that.” 

“Why not? It’s the truth.” 

“It’s not.”

“I fucked like five guys this week.” 

Okay, that was a bit of an exaggeration. Maybe not five. 

“So?” 

“Well that fits the definition of whore, doesn’t it?”

He was always like this, acting combative to push others away. But this time, there was one small problem. Zack was so easy-going; the man would probably apologize if Cloud punched him in the face. No matter how much he yelled at him, the fucking idiot just stood there and smiled. 

“Just come on. You’re here now. Cheryl has your picture. Might as well make the most of this.” 

Zack inserted a keycard into the elevator. “Perks of being third class.” He held it out to Cloud. “I can pretty much get anywhere in the building with this little thing.”

The keycard was blue and featured the company logo. He handed it back to Zack, eager to get it out of his hand. The only place he wanted to go was back out the front door. 

Pressing the button, Zack continued. “I’m on the fifth floor, but the infirmary is on the third. I’ll drop you off there. It shouldn’t take long.”

He felt his heart leap up his esophagus. “You’re leaving me alone in this building?” 

What happened to sticking together?! Cloud felt his pulse begin to quicken. Thankfully, Zack was quick to answer.

“No, I’ll be back down to pick you up. I gotta get a shower. I reek. I’ll get you some breakfast too, if you want it.” He smiled. “Plus, I figured you could use some privacy. I doubt you want me intruding.”

Cloud was silent for a moment, before nodding. “Yeah, I’ll take some breakfast, I guess. “

“Good. I’m starving. What do you like? I think I have some bagels back in my room.” 

Bagels sounded fucking amazing. “Bagels are fine.”

It was a quick walk to the infirmary. Thankfully, the trend of absent employees continued, and they managed to make it there, uninterrupted. 

“Well, here we are.” 

Zack approached the counter, while Cloud took the time to take in the layout of the room. The clinic was cold and sterile, just like rest of the building. 

“Hey, can you do me a favor. I’ve got a friend here. Yeah. Third class. Zack Fair.” He waved him over. “C’mon Cloud, she’ll take you back. Just explain what happened. I’ll be back in a few minutes. “

“You’re coming back right?” 

“Yeah, of course.”

******  
The whole ordeal was a lot less painful than expected. 

The entire process took less than twenty minutes, and now, well, he was just waiting. Hopefully Zack didn’t take long. The lobby chairs were extremely ridged, and no matter how much he shifted, he couldn’t quite get comfortable. 

The healer had actually been…. understanding? She didn’t ask too many uncomfortable questions or pry for details. Then again, he didn’t really remember enough of the incident to answer her anyway. The sickening feeling of knowing that it had happened was enough. He couldn’t imagine being awake for the entire thing. Small mercies he supposed. 

She ended up casting an esuna spell, free of charge, and had given him a shot to prevent against future infection. At least he wouldn’t be waking up with gonorrhea in a few weeks. 

Cloud kicked repeatedly at the leg of his chair. He really owed Zack an apology. He had acted like such a brat on the way here, when all the guy was trying to do was help. If it wasn’t for him, he would have been back working the streets, with no hope of medical care. 

“Hey Spike.”

Oh, thank the gods. Zack was back. His black hair was still wet from his shower, hanging in loose pieces that framed his face. His uniform was gone, replaced by sweats and a t-shirt. Cloud wrinkled his nose. “Spike?”

“What? It suits you.”

“Meh. It sounds like something you’d name your chocobo.”

Zack laughed. “Like I said, it suits you. Want me to call you kid instead? I didn’t know you were only seventeen.”

“What? Are you like thirty or something?”

“I just turned twenty-one,” he replied, unamused. “Cloud, please don’t tell me you actually thought I was thirty.”

“Eh. You act like it.” 

“What? Because I’m so mature?”

“I was thinking more along the lines of lame, but okay.”

Zack leaned into the door frame, smirking. “Ouch. Not the best way to treat the guy who’s gonna cook your food.”

Cloud stood up. “Speaking of that food, weren’t you gonna make me bagels? I’m starving and this chair is shitty.” Last night’s burger was long since digested, and the familiar hunger pangs were back.

Zack’s rich laughter filled the room, echoing off the lifeless walls of the clinic. “If that’s what you want. C’mon.”

******

When Cloud had agreed to go in the Shinra building, he was not completely naïve to the fact that they probably weren’t going to go unseen. However, up until this point he had been cautiously optimistic……save for the picture incident. His hopes were shattered after turning a corner and nearly colliding with another Soldier. 

“Angeal!” Zack cried as Cloud fumbled, trying to regain his balance. 

The man in question was tall and burly. He had shoulder-length black hair that emphasized a square jawline. Cloud looked small standing next to Zack… but he was pretty sure this guy could snap his arm with the flick of his wrist. 

Once the initial anxiety wore off, Cloud was relieved to find that he had no idea who this person was. 

“Zack? What are you doing here? Don’t you still have a full day of leave?” He glanced at his watch. “It isn’t even one yet. And who is this?” He gestured towards Cloud. 

“Uh. This is my friend, Cloud. We were just headed back to my room to get some breakfast.”

Nice save Zack. Real nice. 

“I see. Well, I’ll leave you too it then. I’ve got a meeting with Heidegger in a bit, so I have to get going.” He turned to leave. “Oh, and Zack, Sephiroth is in the building today. Don’t let him catch you letting civilians in the Soldier barracks.” 

“Sure. Thanks, Angeal. I’ll see you tomorrow for drills.”

He nodded. “Make sure you’re in top form.”

“Always!”

*****

“Zack? What the fuck? I thought you said I was allowed in here!”

Zack scratched his neck, avoiding the other’s eyes. “Well, visitors are allowed in the building, just not certain floors.”

He couldn’t believe this. “I’m going to get arrested.” 

“You won’t! That was my boss. He doesn’t even care.”

Cloud was not amused. “He thinks we’re going back here to fuck.”

“Stop it. He does not.”

He most definitely did. “Believe what you want Zackary, but this situation looks awfully suspicious.”

Turning at a fork, Zack glared at him. “Please don’t call me that. I’m begging you.”

“What? Is that privilege only reserved for Cheryl?”

“Ugh. Gross. Better watch it. You’re making me rethink my bagel offer.”

His room was at the clear end of the hallway. Rows and rows of apartment doors came and went before they finally stopped. Reaching in his sweats, Zack pulled out the keycard. After giving it a good swipe through the card reader, he swung open the door. 

“I share this room with four others, so try not to hate me for the mess.” Zack led the way into the apartment, trying to kick various tripping hazards off to the side; shoes, clothes, a coffee mug. “I honestly can’t wait for the day I make first class, so I can get my own suite. I can’t stand all this shit on the floor. But, after being in the infantry, sharing a room with only four guys is heaven. I’m still getting used to all the space.”

The room was decently sized. In fact, it was probably bigger than his current apartment. There was a small kitchenette with a table and chairs to the left. To the right, a living area with a TV and couch. Where did they sleep? Surely, four guys weren’t piling up on that couch every night. 

Zack seemed to read his thoughts. “There’s bathroom though the door over there.” Bedroom is through the door on the right. Unfortunately, I’m still a member of the bunk-bed club.” He laughed. 

Cloud didn’t. He would kill for a real bed, even if it was of the bunk variety. 

“Here, you can put these on.” Walking over the couch, Zack scooped up a pile of folded clothes. “They’ll probably be a little big on you though. You can feel free to use the shower too.”

He was getting to take a shower. A shower, with actual hot water. 

“I can use your shower?”

“Yeah, of course. Go ahead. I’ll get the food ready and try to clean up this place a little.” 

The bathroom was in the same state as the rest of the place. Discarded clothes were piled in a heap on the floor. Various shampoo and aftershave bottles littered the sink top. Cloud sat down on the edge of the toilet seat and began pulling off his combat boots. 

This was going to be amazing. 

He quickly undressed, throwing his dirty fishnets and shorts into a pile, items that were grimy beyond repair. He removed his jacket and pulled his half-shirt over his head, leaving it to join the rest.

The first jet of warm water against his skin was almost orgasmic. Grabbing a random shampoo bottle off the rack, he began massaging weeks of dirt and cigarette smoke out of his scalp. Fuck. He really, really owed Zack. 

Long after his fingers had begun to prune, he reluctantly turned off the water. Taking a towel off the rack, he examined the clothes Zack had thrust at him earlier; a pair of sweatpants and a black long sleeve shirt. Both items looked entirely too big for his small frame. Even the boxers would have to be rolled. 

After rolling the waistband several times, he was able to keep the pants from sliding off his thin hips. Looking in the foggy mirror, he barely recognized himself. He looked normal. Less like a prostitute and more like a teenager. If it wasn’t for the black eye, he might have actually believed it. 

Giving his hair one last rub down, he walked into the kitchen. By some miracle, Zack had managed to turn the state of the entire apartment around. Everything was back in it’s place and off the floor.

“Hey! They don’t fit too bad.”

He had to laugh. “Are you kidding me? They’re like three sizes too big! I’m practically swimming in them.”

“Aw, don’t worry about it. You look cute. What do you want on your bagel?” 

Cute? “Uh, whatever you’re having is fine.”

“Strawberry jelly it is then.”

Zack placed the food down in front of Cloud, taking a seat at the table. “So, how’d it go? They get you fixed up down at the clinic?” 

“Yeah, I guess.” 

“Good. I’m glad to hear it. And really, don’t worry about Angeal. He would never say anything about you being here.”

“If you say so.” Cloud practically shoved the bagel into his mouth. “This is really good.” 

Slightly burnt, but good. 

Zack smiled. “Well maybe I can make them for you again sometime. You know, I was keeping it a secret, but my real title is actually, Zack Fair, 3rd Class Soldier, Bagel Connoisseur. “

Cloud snorted, almost choking. “I mean they’re good, but not what I’d call expert level.”

“So, what you’re telling me is that you’ve had a lot of high-quality bagels in your time then.”

“Oh yeah. The highest.”

Zack feigned insult. “Jeez man. First you tell me I look thirty years old, and then you tell me I make sub-par bagels. I just can’t win with you, can I?”

“Hey," Cloud replied, in between bites. "I said you acted thirty. Not looked it. And I didn’t say they were subpar, just that they weren’t expert level.” 

“Yeah, Yeah. But hey, It’s not even two yet. You wanna watch a movie or something? I can try out this new TV for the first time.”

“Shouldn’t I leave soon? I gotta get home and don’t want to get in trouble for being here.” 

“Aww, come on.” Zack leaned forward, propping his elbows up on the table. “Stay here with me for a little longer.”

Oh.

Ohhhhh.

So, that’s how it was. Zack had gone out of his way to help him, and now he expected something in return. 

Zack was hot, and nice. A rare combo. Even though they had just met, Cloud felt like he was beginning to make a friend. He had thought Zack was different….someone that didn’t want to just use him for sex. It was a mistake he wouldn’t be making again.

It made sense. Feed him, let him get cleaned up, check to make sure he didn’t have any STD’s.

Cloud stared at the table. “Uh, I guess.”

“Don’t sound too excited. What kind of movies do you like?”

He pushed away the last of his breakfast, suddenly not hungry. “Whatever you want to watch is fine.” He was certain they wouldn’t be watching it anyway.

“You know what? You ever see the film about the spy organization?”

“That’s not very specific.”

“Trust me. You’ll like it. It’s got great action scenes. It’s set in an alternate universe too, which is really cool.”

Zack jumped out of his seat and walked to the living room, where he began messing with the remote. “This TV apparently has movies built right into it. Like you don’t even have to have the physical copy anymore, amazing right?”

Cloud stood up, operating on autopilot, and joined him.

“Aha! Got it.” The screen lit up. 

“You want something to drink? Sorry, I forgot to give you one earlier.” 

“Sure.”

Zack cocked his head. “You feeling okay, Cloud? You look kinda pale.” 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He was definitely not fine.

“Okay. Just a sec.”

Zack disappeared into the bedroom, returning with a blanket. “Here. It’s always so chilly in this building.” Tossing it at Cloud, he continued. “Go ahead and get situated. I’ll get your drink. Water okay?”

“Yeah.” He was sure he was going to pass out. Or vomit. Or vomit, then pass out. He didn’t think he could will his body to cooperate. 

What the fuck was he thinking, trying to get in the car with that other guy last night? He had been kidding himself thinking he could go back to work so soon. Here, in this small apartment, sex looming over his head, it all seemed so much more real. His eyes darted around the room. Zack could easily overpower him. It wouldn’t be hard. He was so malnourished and sickly. 

Zack would probably start rubbing his thigh under the blanket and-

“Here ya go.” The glass almost slipped through his sweaty palm. Zack caught it just in time, long fingers curling around his own. “Oh! Careful.” 

After hitting the lights, Zack proceeded to join him on the couch. “Hand me half of that blanket, wontcha.”

“Sure.”

They were close together; only about a foot of space between them. Zack pressed play on the remote. 

Cloud spent the first third of the movie stealing glances at the other man, waiting for the brush of a hand against his thigh. 

During the second third of the movie, he began to doubt that it was even coming.

And during the last third, he was laughing along with the characters on screen, his negative headspace gone. 

He hated how mind worked. It was like one bad thought could send his brain into a never-ending spiral of anxiety. 

Clearly Zack wasn’t going to force anything on him. He should have known that by now. 

“So, what did you think?”

“It was a little cheesy. But I liked it.” 

“Cheesy? It was so awesome. That song at the end is gonna be stuck in my head for the rest of the night though. ”

“Yeah. Mine too. What time is it?"

“Uh, let me check.” Standing up, Zack crossed the room to grab what appeared to be a cellphone. “Almost five forty-five.”

“Oh shit. Next train leaves at six. I’m gonna miss it if I don’t leave now.”

Zack pouted. “Kay. Want me to walk you down to the station?”

“Yeah. Please. I don’t want to get stopped on my way out of here.” Cloud jumped up, quickly making an attempt to gather his belongings from the bathroom.

“Wait. Before you go….” Zack grabbed a jacket off the back of one of the kitchen chairs. “Here, wear this. It’s getting really cold out.” 

Cloud tentatively reached out, feeling the thick leather. The inside was lined with….wool? Under the plate, something like this would have cost him a fortune. “Uh…Thank you, Zack. But I can’t take this.”

Truthfully, he felt like crying. Zack, a complete stranger, had shown him more kindness in two days than he had experienced in two years. 

“Who said I was giving it to you? I’m letting you borrow it. This is my jacket for picking up chicks. What would I do without it?”

“Pick up dudes?”

“True. I can’t give you that jacket though.”

He laughed. “You’re seriously gonna let me borrow it?” 

“Yeah. Let’s put your dirty clothes in a bag too. That way you won’t have to carry them on the train.”

“Uh. okay. And Zack, are you sure you don’t want your gil back?" It was a question that had been on his mind since the beginning of this trip. "You gave me all that cash and didn’t even get anything out of it.” 

“Cloud, forget about that gil, please. I get paid more than I need with no time to spend it. It’s yours. And what do you mean, “didn’t get anything out of it”?” 

“I didn’t sleep with you.” He glanced at the floor.

“Fuck Cloud. Don’t feel like you owe me anything. Least of all your body. You don’t owe that to anyone, okay?”

He nodded, afraid to speak in case he broke down.

After a few moments of silence, Zack rechecked his phone. “Aw shit. Think we can make it? We got exactly fifteen minutes.”

“I don’t know. I’m not very fast.”

“Well I think we can. Let’s go!”

Zack grabbed ahold of his wrist, pulling him out the door and down the hallway at a velocity that would put half the army cadets to shame. Taking the corner at top speed, they almost knocked over another set of Soldier operatives. 

Cloud looked over his shoulder at the two men who had almost been victims of a hit and run. “Wait, aren’t those your friends?”

“Yeah, but were gonna miss the train if we don’t keep going!”

“Wait, Zack?,” one called out.

Zack shook his head. “Just keep going or we won’t make it!”

As they sprinted down the hallway, Cloud let himself forget. 

For those few moments, when his lungs were burning and adrenaline flowed through his veins, he forgot about the assault. He forgot about how shitty his life was turning out to be. 

Most of all, he forgot about how he spent the day under the same roof as those who had been responsible for the death of his mother and the destruction of Nibelheim. 

****

“Well, here we are. Train station. We even managed to get out of headquarters without incident. Cheryl was sad to see you leave.”

Panting, Cloud struggled to get the words out. “Shut up. She was not. And I thought you said we weren’t going to get in trouble anyway!?”

Zack shrugged, not out of breath in the slightest. “There was always the possibility of running into Sephiroth.”

“I hate you.” And he hated running. Cigarettes and aerobic exercise were not friends.

“Can I see you again? I’ll be free in two weeks”. 

“Well, I mean, sure.” Cloud tried to hide his elation. Zack actually wanted to see him again? “But it depends on my work schedule and all.” 

He nodded, understanding. “Yeah of course. How can I get ahold of you? Do you have a cell phone?”

He shook his head. “I don’t have a phone. But I can meet you somewhere.”

“How about the same place as last time. I’ll come look for you two Fridays from now. I don’t really know my way around under the plate, remember?”

“Yeah. Sounds good to me. But, uh thanks for everything this weekend. Zack. It means a lot. Really.” He wasn’t good at stuff like this. 

Zack was beaming. “Yeah, of course. It was no problem. I had a lot of fun this weekend. I’ll see you around.”

The train let out a shrill whistle. Last warning. 

“Well, see ya.”

“Yeah.”

Giving one last wave, Cloud began walking up the steps. Just as he was about to head for the back of the train, the sound of Zack’s loud voice sent his head snapping back around.

“Better be there Cloud! I’d hate to see the citation for standing up a Soldier.”

Cloud rolled his eyes and smiled.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. It's been a while! I promise I haven't abandoned this story. These last few months I have been studying nonstop to take the MCAT (test to get into medical school in America). I finally sat for the exam two weeks ago and now I'm just waiting on my score. Thank you to everyone who has left comments and kudos in my absence!

Monday Morning, Shinra Headquarters

“Zack. Focus.”

Zack grimaced as his ass hit the floor for the what seemed like the thousandth time that morning. They had started out with a simple warmup; a two-mile run combined with various bodyweight exercises.  
Next was hand-to-hand combat, something he usually excelled at. This morning was different. Angeal had deflected his sloppy punches with ease, sending him flying backward more times in the last half hour than he had all last month. 

“Sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me this morning.” 

Liar. He had been up late last night, tossing and turning, worrying about a certain spikey-haired kid with a smart mouth.

That’s what he was… a kid. Zack was pretty sure he felt his heart shatter when Cloud said he was seventeen. Freshly seventeen at that. At that age, he was still in high school, playing sports and chasing girls. When did Cloud start doing this? Was he sixteen? Fifteen? Thirteen? Did he live with his family? Or was he alone? It was driving him crazy. 

Angeal extended his hand. “Don’t worry about it.” Pulling Zack to his feet, he continued. “Why don’t you go practice some of your sword forms?” 

Zack hung his head in humiliation. He knew Angeal wasn’t mad, it was just that the first had went out on a limb for him. He had spoken favorably of him to the General and the other higher ups. His high scores on the SOLDIER exam were no doubt in part to Angeal’s influence.

Zack just didn’t want to let him down.

When some infantrymen made it to third class, they were content to stay there. The pay was nice, and you had some freedom. But Angeal knew Zack wasn’t content. So, he pushed him. Only the best of the best made first class. 

“I’ll be better tomorrow. I just have a lot on my mind this morning.” 

Angeal reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay. Everyone has off days.” 

Nodding, Zack turned, fully intending to make his way toward the sword racks. However, he suddenly remembered the newspaper headline from the motel. It was a lingering bad feeling that been stifled by the plethora of other bad feelings he experienced these last few hours. 

“Wait, Angeal! Have you heard anything about Wutai? When I was on leave this weekend, I saw a newspaper headline that didn’t look good. Are we going back to war?” 

“The media loves to stir things up.” Angeal’s eyes were locked on another sparring group, and Zack couldn’t help but feel like he was doing so to avoid looking him in the face. “I’m sure it’s nothing. Trust me, we would be first to know if that was true.” 

*****

Concentrate. Concentrate. Concentrate. 

Zack swung the long sword over and over. Inside guard. Hanging guard. Low guard. 

Damn, he sucked today. If this was all it took to throw him off kilter- a kid from the slums- then maybe he wasn’t cut out for first class after all. 

After a few more halfhearted swings, he tossed the training weapon to the side in resignation. 

“Fuck.” Zack breathed, sinking down to lean against the padded walls that encased the room. He felt sticky and gross. Sticky from the sweat. Gross from how pathetic he was being.

This was going to be a long two weeks. Well, two weeks if Cloud decided to show up. Realistically, he would probably never see him again. Zack grimaced, the thought immediately turning his stomach. He knew he was being…. obsessive? But that’s just how he was. He cared too much. A teen from the slums should be least of his problems. He wiped the sweat off his forehead, leaning his head back to stare at the ceiling. 

What could he even do to help? It was clear that despite the nonchalant attitude Cloud tried to project, he was unhappy with his situation. Even trivial things; a shower, bagels, a bed- they would cause his eyes to light up like Zack had just offered him the world. And those eyes….. they were somehow bluer and brighter than his artificially enhanced ones could ever be. 

“Zack?”

“Oh hey.” He needed to stop spacing out. Maybe Cloud was rubbing off on him. “What’s up?”

Kunsel and Ash exchanged looks of confusion. Or was it something else?

“Zack, where the hell have you been?” Ash asked. 

Zack frowned, looking to Kunsel for support. “What do you mean? Both of you ditched me this weekend if I remember correctly.” 

Ash clearly thought the issue wasn’t up for debate, as his response was laced with aggressiveness. “You ditched us.”

“I didn’t. You took me to that stupid hotel when I explicitly told you I wasn’t interested in any of that. So, I left.” Zack was already annoyed at his subpar performance today. He didn’t need these morons yelling at him for not participating in their stupid group fuck. Better to just leave now, before it all got out of hand. “Well, you’re clearly upset with me for some reason, so I guess I’ll catch you later then.” He stood up, pushing past his two comrades toward the exit. 

“Yeah, you weren’t interested in it alright.”

Zack snapped his head around. “What is your problem Ash? And what the hell is that supposed to mean? Just spit it out already.”

“We saw you with that guy. From the slums.” He cleared his throat, pausing as if he needed time to gather the courage to continue. “You want to act like you’re morally superior to the rest of us. But all along it had nothing to do with sex as a transaction, and everything to do with the fact they didn’t have cocks.” 

Oh.

So that’s how it was. 

This had to be some kind of bad joke. Despite his cool demeanor, Zack was struck with the sudden urge to punch Ash in the face. It would be so easy to tackle the other man and start beating the shit out of him; they were in the training room. Everyone would assume they were sparring. He took a deep breath, focusing all energy on pushing his anger down to unreachable depths. Don’t make a scene. “I didn’t sleep with him.”

“He was wearing your clothes? Stop lying Zack. Everyone already knows that-“

Zack cut him off. “I don’t see why any of this matters. It’s none of your business.” He looked at Kunsel. “If you could stop standing there like some kind of mute, that would be great.”

Kunsel averted his eyes, refusing to look at Zack. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Well this is just great. I’m so happy that my “friends” are acting like this. I defended both of you to him. And now you’re standing here acting like assholes.” 

Ash sighed. “Look Zack. Do what you want in your free time. Fuck whoever you want. But don’t pretend this isn’t my business when my idiot roommate is smuggling prostitutes into my room! You know civilians aren’t allow in the barracks. All of us would get in trouble if you got caught.” 

“So, you’re mad…… because you think you’re going to get in trouble.” Zack rolled his eyes. This was laughable. Ash couldn’t have given less of a fuck about getting “in trouble” before today. “You’re telling me this has nothing to do with Cloud?”

“Cloud? Who is that?” Kunsel asked, finally speaking up.

“The kid from the slums.”

Ash’s nose wrinkled, unable to hold back the disgust any longer. “A kid? You have got to be kidding me Zack.”

“Look. I’m not arguing about this anymore.” Zack grit his teeth. This was unbelievable. “You don’t have to worry about me bringing anyone back to the room from now on.” 

‘Zack-“

“Save it Kunsel.”

******

Four-hundred ninety-eight. Legs parallel to the ground. 

Four-hundred ninety-nine. Core engaged. 

Five hundred. Quadriceps screaming, Zack pushed through the last squat rep before collapsing on the ground. Usually exercise helped to clear his mind. Unfortunately, that didn’t seem to be the case tonight. 

The air outside was biting, but after this morning’s confrontation, the thought of going back to the barracks made him want to puke. So here he sat, alone on the roof of Shrina Building E. Crawling over to the guard rail, Zack swung his legs over the side, taking the moment to observe the city he swore to protect. 

So many lights. 

Above the plate, cars sped across the freeways, their blurry forms present for a second, then gone. Lingering flashes of light the only evidence they existed. A feeling of guilt overcame him. Most of the passengers were probably unaware of the crippling poverty that lay beneath them. Hell, so was he until this past weekend. 

Somewhere out there, was Cloud. 

Was he okay? Hungry? Cold? In someone else’s arms? 

Zack leaned back, allowing himself to look up at the sky. Even at this height, the stars weren’t visible, their brightness hidden by an unrelenting layer of smog. His heart ached for the warm breezes and starlight nights of Gongaga. But his dreams were tied to Midgar and Shinra, so this is where he stayed. 

His thoughts drifted back to earlier in the day. Was this really how everything was going to go down? His comrades, no, his friends; they had all been through so much together. He exhaled, watching as his breath materialized as steam before quickly dissipating. Were they really that repulsed? 

He could not let this ruin his focus. In another year, he would be eligible to sit for the next SOLDIER exam and receive a promotion to second class. Wasting his time, worrying about things he couldn’t change, small minded people he couldn’t reason with, all of it was a waste. 

He was going to be a hero, damn it. 

“Zack? Is that you?”

Oh great. 

Kunsel slowly approached the guard rail. He gestured to the ground. “Mind if I sit?”

Zack shrugged. “Nah.” Truthfully, he just wanted to be alone. But, no matter what he said, it didn’t look like Kunsel was about to listen. 

“I just wanted to come up here to talk. I’ve been looking for you since training let out.”

“Okay.” Zack began picking at the chipped paint on the railing with his fingernail. Anything to keep himself preoccupied. 

“No, it’s not. I’m sorry man. I should have spoken up this morning when Ash was going off.”

An apology? He hadn’t been expecting that. Not after the way Kunsel followed Ash around like a puppy this morning. “Well why didn’t you? You just stood there and let him flip out.” 

“I know. I’m sorry.”

Zack looked at the other man. He needed answers. “Are you mad or upset with me? Is this all because I went off with Cloud? Because I’m bisexual?” 

“No.” Kunsel shook his head. “Honestly, I guess I was just surprised. That’s all. I was upset because you didn’t tell me. I figured that we were friends, and I just assumed you told your friends that stuff. So, when I saw you run off with that guy, I couldn’t believe it. And then I saw you guys in the barracks. And it hit me that it was true. And I thought, maybe we aren’t as good of friends as I assumed we were.” Knuckles white from gripping the railing, he continued. “But the more I thought about it, the more I realized it was wrong to think like that. Your business is your business Zack. I don’t have the right to be mad because you chose not to tell me something. Something that doesn’t even affect me.”

Zack smiled. It felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. 

Was Kunsel an idiot? Yes. Did the guy hate his guts? No. 

“It’s okay. I was honestly going to say something to you, I just never got around to it. Being in the army, training every day, I didn’t know how or when to bring it up. A part of me was afraid of it ending up like this, I guess. “

“I’m sorry. I understand if you don’t want to forgive me.”

“No. It’s okay. Really. I probably would have felt the same if the situation was reversed.” While a part of him was glad Kunsel wasn’t mad, the other part was preoccupied with the issue of Ash, who clearly was. “Do you know what’s up with Ash?”

Kunsel shook his head. “Who knows? At first, I thought he felt the same as me, but I think he has some other issues Zack. I don’t know. I’m sorry this is how everything went down.”

“It’s okay. Believe me.” Zack smiled. “You can stop apologizing now. I forgive you.”

Running his fingers through his hair, Kunsel let the pent-up air out of his lungs. “Thank the gods. I didn’t know what I’d do if you ended up hating me. “

Zack laughed. “So, what exactly happened after I left you?”

“Oh man. It’s such a blur. We took these weird pills and got high off our asses. Pretty sure those women convinced us to keep giving them money. I don’t even remember the sex, just waking up with a raging headache and no cash. It’s what we deserved though. Should have known that situation wasn’t going to turn out how we planned. What about you? How’d you end up back at the barracks?”

“It’s a long story.” One he didn’t particularly feel like rehashing. 

“Aw, c’mon. Then give me the short version.”

But he could be persuaded. “Ugh. fine. So, I go over to talk to Cloud, realized he was going to go off with someone else, panicked, and paid for him to hang out with me… smooth right?" Saying how everything played out aloud….it made the cringe all the more apparent. 

“Real smooth.”

“I know right. So, I took him to eat, realized he was in a bad situation and took him back to the med station at headquarters. I ended up letting him use our shower and gave him some clothes to wear.”

“That’s it?”

“Yep. I told you, you guys were totally overestimating my ability to get laid.“

Kunsel laughed, A giant smile appearing across his features. “I should have known. But you want to see him again?”

Zack felt his cheeks warm. “You could tell huh? I want to. I don’t know how he feels though. I dragged him here against his will. And I get the feeling he doesn’t really like Shinra all that much.”

“I bet he likes you though.” Kunsel said it with finality. As if it was the most obvious thing on all of Gaia. 

“What makes you say that?”

“Come on Zack. Some handsome soldier swoops in and saves the day? Buys him food? Gives him clothes? He definitely doesn’t hate you. You get his number?

“Nah. He doesn’t have a phone. I doubt he can afford one.” 

“That sucks.”

“We made plans to meet up next leave, but I don’t know if he will show up.”

“He will.”

The constant hum of the mako pumps filled the air as the two sat in comfortable silence. 

Kunsel was the first to speak up. “Man, it’s getting chilly out here. You want to head back in?” 

“Yeah let’s go back. But Kunsel, what did you think about being under the plate? I haven’t seen so much poverty in all my life. How could Shinra let it get to that point?”

“It’s always been like that. I wish I had a good answer for you. The president and all the higher ups say they are working on it… but it never seems to get any better. Kunsel extended his hand, pulling Zack to his feet. “That’s the city life for you.”


	7. Chapter 7

Sunday Evening, Sector 7

Cloud needed a cigarette. The adrenaline high from this past weekend was beginning to dissipate, and now all he was left with was a splitting headache and the uneasy feeling that comes with nicotine withdrawal.

He also needed to see Tifa. He had gone nearly three days without checking in with her; the poor girl was probably worried sick. No doubt she was rallying everyone at the bar for the search party right this second. 

Cloud pulled Zack’s jacket tighter around himself, trying to pick up the pace. It was freezing outside once again, but the thick leather and wool kept the air away from his skin.

The coat smelled like expensive aftershave; earthy, with undertones of sandalwood and vanilla. He scoffed. Of course. That idiot seemed like the type to splurge on that kind of useless luxury. But despite the offensive waste of precious gil, Cloud found himself appreciating the scent more and more with every step.

Zack was really nice. A genuine good person. Despite the shitty start, these last few days seemed almost too good to be true. Back at the station, he had even asked to meet up again next week. Cloud would have been lying if he had said he felt anything other than elation in that moment. But, the train ride back to the slums had given him time to process the situation. 

It just wouldn’t work. They couldn’t be friends. Zack was a SOLDIER. He worked for Shinra for fuck’s sake. It didn’t help that Cloud could totally see himself falling for the guy if he kept hanging out with him. Zack was a bit of a dork, yes, but he was also charming and sweet. To hope that a relationship would form; it was delusional. No one wants to date someone whose continued existence depended on his line of work. 

It was still early in the evening, so when Cloud finally arrived at the bar, he hadn’t been expecting many people. Unfortunately for him, that hope was demolished by the presence of Barret Wallace and his loyal followers. 

Fuck. 

In his Zack-induced haze, it had slipped his mind that Sundays were the unofficial AVALANCHE meeting nights at Seventh Heaven. 

“Cloud!” Barret boomed. “Where the hell’s your skinny ass been?”

Now, let’s get this straight. He didn’t hate Barret Wallace. It was just that the man’s…. “approach” … to certain things didn’t sit right with him. Thus, the two butted heads more often than he would like. It didn’t help that Tifa practically idolized him, clinging to every bit of anti-Shinra rhetoric he preached like gospel. Barret’s heart was in the right place, and he was a great father. But Cloud just couldn’t get behind AVALANCHE and their plans to blow up half the city. 

“None of your business. Where’s Tifa?” Looking around the bar he saw many familiar faces; Jesse, Biggs, Wedge, and others, but Tifa was nowhere to be found. 

“None of my damn business?! While you’re off doin who the hell knows what, Tifa’s out here worryin’ about you!”

“Cloud?” 

Thank the gods. He was saved. Tifa emerged from the back room of the bar, a mixture of relief and irritation splayed across her face. 

“Hey. Just thought I’d stop by and check in.”

She threw her hands up in resignation. “Check in!? You’ve been missing for three days!”

“I know. I know. Look can we talk somewhere…. else?” He could practically feel the eyes of Barret and the others boring holes into the back of his skull. 

“Cloud, what is going on? And don’t take this the wrong way, but what are you wearing?”

He shook his head, grabbing ahold of her arm. “C’mon, I’ll explain it in a bit.”

He pulled Tifa into a booth in the far corner of the bar. Barret seemed to lose interest in him quickly, already wrapped up in another conversation by the time they sat down. “When are they headed downstairs?”

“Probably in a few minutes. They usually start the meeting at seven.”

“Good.” He needed to waste some time. “You think you can put in an order of fries for me while we wait?”

“I don’t have any extra-“

“Don’t worry about it. I have the gil.” Cloud reached in his pocket, pulling out the cash that Zack had given him. 

Tifa’s eyebrows skyrocketed. “You… want a drink too?” 

“Just water. Got any smokes?”

“Yeah. Gimme a sec.” 

Tifa quickly stood up and frowned, her eyebrows knitted together in frustration. She was going to kill him. It was written all over her face. Cloud cringed. One punch from Tifa would probably put him in the hospital. Of course, she would never hit him. But, witnessing her destructive power firsthand- it was enough to put the fear of the gods in you. 

When they had first moved to the city, a creep once tried to cop a feel on their way home from Seventh Heaven. Cloud watched her throw the guy over her shoulder, breaking his arm in the process. Word traveled fast in the slums, and after hearing the new bartender was as strong as she was beautiful, most of the lowlifes kept away. 

Barret’s obnoxiously loud voice pulled him from his daydream. “Meeting starts in five. See y’all downstairs. Ay. Cloud. You joinin us tonight?”

This is what he got for thinking he could escape. “Not interested.”

“HA. Not interested? The planet’s dying! The Shinra are suckin it dry! And you’re just gonna sit there like you don’t give a fuck?”

Cloud tried waving him away with his hand. “Barret please. I’m really not in the mood.”

“I can’t believe this shit! Tifa! Talk some sense into him!”

Tifa placed his food down on the table. “I will. Don’t worry about him. You head down and get everything started. We will be down.”

Barrett seemed to find this response satisfactory, nodding. “See y’all downstairs. I'll be up to get ya if you take too long.”

After he had left, Cloud spoke. “Tifa, I don’t really think I want to.”

“Aw, come on. At least hear him out. He has good ideas. We just don’t have the numbers right now. We’ve been trying to do some recruiting, but it’s difficult to get the word out without drawing the wrong kind of attention.” 

“I wouldn’t be much use.” 

“That’s not true. You’re really smart. I’m sure you could help us with some of the operations management. “ 

“Tifa.” His voice came out harsher than expected. He wasn’t having this conversation again. 

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

They sat in silence, the awkwardness hanging like a sheet above them. They rarely argued, but AVALANCHE was one of the sore spots in their relationship. Cloud picked up one of his fries, absentmindedly dragging it through the vinegar that had collected at the bottom of the paper container. 

“So, what happened Cloud?” she asked, always the first to break the silence. ‘’Did you rob someone? Kill them? Where did you get those clothes and that money?”

“This guy gave them to me.” The tanginess of the vinegar and the salt burned his taste buds in a surprisingly pleasant way. 

“He…. gave them to you?”

She was justified in her confusion. People didn’t “give things away” in Midgar. “See, that’s the weird part, he didn’t even make me do anything to him. He took me back to his place and gave me this stuff.”

“That’s kinda weird.” 

“Yeah. It’s really weird.” Cloud nodded as he reached for the pack of cigarettes Tifa had brought to the table. “He wants to see me again.”

“Well, will you?” Her voice held tones of hopefulness. She knew he had few friends here.

After rummaging around in his bag of dirty clothes, Cloud was able to find his lighter. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” He quickly lit the cigarette and inhaled, letting the familiar tobacco smoke fill his lungs. “I’m gonna tell you something, but you have to promise me you won’t tell Barret.”

“Um. Okay?” 

“Promise, Tifa.” 

She nodded. “Okay. I promise.” 

“The guy who picked me up…. he was in the SOLDIER program.” 

“The SOLDIER program…as in Shinra?”

Cloud sworn he could’ve heard a pin drop. He took another drag off the cigarette, giving himself a few extra seconds to savor the calm before the storm. “Yes.” 

“……….Shiva.” 

“I know.”

“And you went back with him…. to headquarters?”

“Yes.” 

Tifa immediately recoiled as if she had been struck. “They killed our parents. They burnt Nibelheim down. They would have killed us too if we hadn’t been out of town that day!”

She was right. He could still remember the heat of the flames as he pulled her from the body of her father, begging her to leave before the fire consumed them. “You think I don’t know that? I didn’t want to go! I hate Shinra more than anything. But the guy I was with, it wasn’t like that. He was just trying to help. He was somehow different. Tifa, he was so kind to me-”

“One day he will kill for them,” she stared at the table, tears beginning to form at the corners of her eyes,"if he hasn't already. I’m glad he helped you out, but Cloud, do you really think he would hesitate for a second if his superiors told him to burn down a city or kill innocents? Shinra is the enemy. It just, it breaks my heart that you have to associate yourself with these people for money.”

“Whad’ya mean? The damn Shinra?!”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Of course, Barrett would reappear at the most inconvenient time. Wasn’t he supposed to be in a meeting? “I’m leaving.”

“Sit down Cloud.” Barrett slid in the booth beside him, forcing his small frame against the wall. “I came up to get Tifa, but what’s goin on here?”

Tifa grabbed one of the napkins from the table, catching her tears before they fell to the floor. “Tell him, Cloud.” 

“Tifa.” 

“Tell him.” 

Cloud sighed, snuffing out the cigarette before depositing the butt into the ashtray. “I was in Shinra headquarters this past weekend.”

“What!? How’d the hell you get in?” Barret yelled, slamming his good arm onto the table.

“With one of the SOLDIERS.”

“Is there a passcode or somethin’?”

“No.”

“Well, spit it out!”

“He had a special keycard unique to the SOLDIER program. It opened all the floors. “ 

“So that’s all it is? A special keycard?” Barret began laughing loudly, his deep voice echoing through the bar. “Those damn Shrina execs and their big budget, and they decide to use a keycard system. Here this whole time, we thought they were usin’ high tech, facial recognition or some shit.” 

“Cloud…” Tifa whispered, finally speaking up. “If you could get that keycard, that could be our ticket into the mako reactors.”

“What?! Hell no. I’m not stealing the keycard from that guy.” I don’t even have his number or anything. It was complete chance that we ran into each other that night.”

“Nah. It was fate. The gods are smilin’ on us tonight! Barret’s large hand smacked Cloud’s shoulder. “Listen, Cloud, you could get the card. Work your magic on the guy. Slip out when he is sleepin’ or somethin’.”

This conversation was bordering on insanity. “Work my magic?! He was not interested in me. I can’t just “slip out when he is sleeping”. In case you forgot, he is mako enhanced. He would snap my neck like a twig if he caught me stealing.”

Tifa continued, completely disregarding his concerns. “You said he wanted to see you again. You must have had plans to meet up!”

“Look. I hate Shinra as much as all of you. But I can’t get that card.” 

Barret offered a solution. “What if we pay you? Avalanche may not be large in numbers, but we have been able to pull in a damn good amount of gil from the materia we sold.” 

“Pay…me?”. 

“500k.” You get us that keycard, we’ll get ya the gil.” Barret smiled, knowing he had sealed the deal.

Shaking, Cloud covered his face before he spoke in disbelief. “You can’t be serious. That amount of gil is insane.”

Tifa placed her hand on his. “Cloud, anything you can tell us about Shinra, security, or the SOLDIERS will help us. This is so important. This will help us help the planet.” 

Five hundred thousand gil? With that kind of money, he could survive for years. He could get his own place, with heat and running water. No more sleeping on floor mattresses and wearing filthy clothes. No more sucking dick in dark alleys. No more violence and abuse at the hands of scum. 

But what about Zack? Oh gods. The only person in this city to give a shit about him. He would be betraying his trust, getting closer to him, only to selfishly benefit. 

On the train, he had made up his mind to leave Zack alone, to drop this delusional fantasy that they were going to be friends and that their differences didn’t matter. 

This was going to destroy the both of them. 

“Uh. It might take me a while.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha hopefully you guys don't hate me with this big set up. In case you can't tell, I'm a big fan of angst.


End file.
